Thursday, October 30, 2008

Contents may be shocking for those living under rocks

Gak, no post since I started back to school, I am so sorry dear readers. I meant to post things a few weeks ago, I had pictures and junk from a wedding we did, but Blogger AND Facebook were being lame and I got so annoyed that I just couldn't keep trying to upload.

To make it up to you, I present a fabulous postcard that I received in the mail today from my nerd camp friend Aja who is far off in Ottawa being a great big awesome person. I absolutely LOVE this postcard, it says:

"I masterbate. And I enjoy it. A lot. It took me years to discover it. Thankfully, I finally got over my hang-ups. I realized that a sex drive is as natural as the urge to eat, sleep, or drink. I wouldn't deny myself a fabulous meal, so why would I deny myself the experience of sexual desire. Sure it took me awhile to come around to the idea, but I've become more comfortable with my own body. And in doing so, I've discovered the wonderful gift of my innate sexual energy."

Aja immediately thought of me when she saw it at Venus Envy, what I gather to be a women-friendly sex shop:

So I thank Aja for sharing this with me and for thinking of me, and I hope my readers can appreciate it too.

Catherine Ford forever,


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Donut crumbs from the biggest baddest most icing-covered masterpiece

Rawr. Listening to fuzzy-head's podcast after about a week of delay (technical issues, beyond his control he says). Unfortunately, I did all my mindless internet checking stuff before I remembered I wanted to listen to it, so now I have to find things to do on the interweb while I listen.

Only 5 minutes into the podcast and already there is a shout-out to my humble little stitch n' bitch posse! Hi-five!

J'adore Starbucks Gossip. This is how I find out about all the upcoming things at sbux. Items I have learned about today:
-rumors that we're going to back pouring shots directly into the cups. Espresso excellence was clearly a PR sham
-poor Vivanno sales = discontinued product?? I hope so. Bananas are BALLS.
-there is a small group of die-hard Starbucks Gossip-ers who pretty much run that discussion board. I feel like a little fish in a big sea, and I rarely add my comment. I'm more of a message board lurker. A creeper if you will.

Fuzzy-head told me that my blog about the Beck concert was too negative. It's true, I was being unfair. The concert was just fine, I got to see Beck real close up, and if I cared even a little bit about MGMT I would brag about seeing that mullet-headed weirdo up close, but I don't. There were plenty of good things about the concert, but I just had to focus on the bad and tell my readers why I can never see a concert again. Beck's guitar-playing girl was gorgeous. I love her, I want to be her. More than anything, I think I just liked her hair. It was wavy and texture-y, pulled back into a loose bun thing. If I could stand having long hair, and if it would behave like that, I would do that to my hair. Also thinking about going a bit darker with my hair. Thoughts?

I am going to knit tonight to protest the family Thanksgiving I was not invited to. Here's the background: We never plan Thanksgiving in a timely fashion. We get told where we have to go, usually a few days before. Either my uncle or my grandparents host my beloved holiday celebration strictly because they have enough room to fit the 15 or so people in my family. My mom inquired about where we were going this year, and she got told my uncle (really and truly my aunt's decision) was having a small family thing at their house, with just their family. That's all fine and dandy, except they also invited my grandparents, and one of my other uncles (not the other one because he can't play nice with the first uncle). If we play a little game of family math, we will see that my family was the only group left out. THEN, my grandma found out we were mega-pissed about it, and she bitched at my uncle. We then received a pity invite. No thank you. I will wait for my own family Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Working tomorrow 8-4:30. Please please please holiday Monday, be nice to me!



Monday, October 6, 2008

Sarah Silverman, keep your bra on

I don't like concerts. Now, hold back your shock and criticism for a moment, and I will explain why I don't like them at all. I went to see Beck last night with Dan, he had been looking forward to it for at least a month, this is his all time favourite artist after all. We were pumped, we made a day of it, drove to T.O. and had some dinner and went inside. We learned from our earlier experience last summer at a Muse concert that rushing to the stage is not all it's cracked up to be. We got over heated, and people were jerks, and other people smell funny, and we eventually moved to the side (where we still had an awesome view of the stage because Arrow Hall is an airplane hanger and there was tons of extra space). Not so much last night. We were at the Sound Academy which is considerably smaller than an airplane hanger.

We originally found a sweet spot in front of a pillar, where we could lean and not block any one's view. It was similar to the super sweet parade watching spot Slim Jim and I had at Disney World:

But as more people came inside and moved to the stage area, the gap between us and the stage mob got smaller. There was a nice aisle right in front of us where people were walking to get to the bathrooms, but more than one person would come and stand in that space thinking they found a sweet spot, and then get shoved around by the bathroom-goers, most getting pushed into us.

So we moved. We decided on the side area with a bitchin' view of the stage. It was fine during the opening band (ps. MGMT had some really intense mullets. Just because it's stylized and/or you're famous, doesn't make it cool), we had lots of room and all the other concert goers were smooshed in the stage mob. Then there was intermission while they set up the stage for Beck, and then the fun began.

I have personal space issues. I don't like other people touching me when I can't control it. A crowded concert setting makes me uncomfortable. At first it was fine, we stayed in our sweet spot, but then other people realized they didn't have to be mega-smooshed if they just moved to the side of the mob, where we were. We eventually got completely surrounded, but that wasn't the worst of it. Alcohol should not be allowed at concerts. I don't drink, therefore I can willy-nilly take away their precious booze without feeling bad. I know this is the money maker at concerts, and that hurts my soul. Concert drinkers should have their own section where they can spill drinks on each other and sway to the music away from me.

And then there were the security freaks. They went postal on anyone who tried to take a picture. They rushed into the crowd after a girl standing near us tried to take a picture, and I'm pretty sure the guy made her delete the pic. Then there was some obnoxious girl who pushed her way in front of us to record sound on her camera. They hauled her away, ha. Towards the end of the concert, more people thought it was OK to shove in front of us, where we had been standing for hours with a decent view of the stage. Ick. No more concerts.

Also, the parking lot after was awful. Pedestrians should not be allowed to go anywhere near cars or parking lots if they want to stand around and block cars.

I think I've got all the rants out of my pants now. No more concerts again unless there are seats. I'm just fine buying the CD.



Friday, October 3, 2008

Surgery chairs

My glorious mitties! I've been wearing them for the last two days, even though it's only barely cold enough for mittens. My business banking lady Karen even commented on my winter-y attire when I came into the bank. She said she was dreading snow. I'm glad I didn't share the carefully stitched message of the mittens with her.

In other news, check out my newest project:

Tammy doesn't know how to read my blog so she'll never read this and know this is her Christmas present. AND, there's even a chance I'll finish them in time for Christmas. Hot damn! These are the mittens from the cover of the Fall Vogue Knitting that my let it snow mittens came from. Look at the cables! And the bobbles! And the glorious sock yarn! I'm really diggin' my sock yarn and double pointed needles. It's the only way to fly.

And still more pictures! A few choice pics from Tuesday knitting where two separate sets of old people complained about us sitting in the comfy chairs. The first lady was rather large and had recently had surgery. Our coworker told us she said we should be knitting at home and letting recently surgery-ed ladies such as herself sit in the chairs. The other complainer was a couple that recognized us as employees and said we shouldn't be sitting in the chairs. Hmm. I paid for my drink just like any other customers, and I am entitled to sit in that chair just like any other customer.

Anyway, Catherine and Anonymous were present, and we had a short visit from Bates (who did homework instead of knitting), as well as Valantina (she's the one doing homework). She joined us after her workout, and also didn't knit. School-aged kids are big into homework I guess. WHERE ARE MY FELLOW KNITTERS?

Anonymous looking sad because she dropped a stitch. This is face we watched for a good 20 minutes as she tried to put things right again.

That's all I got for now.